Bend Over Infidel! By Edward Teague

22 March 2004 — The New Dark Age

First an apology. I suggested as background reading GK Chesterton’s “White Horse Inn”, I got confused between “The Flying Inn” and “the Ballad of the White Horse”.

I meant “The Flying Inn”, published in 1914 when Mohammedism or the Islamic Faith was barely known as a living faith in the UK – indeed its acceptance has only just been recognised by Eton who are reported today to have just employed their first imam.

As a fantasy about the fanatic Muslim introduction of alcohol it charts the course of the last Inn in England and has some interesting and useful observations on society / politics and religious intolerance….

    “There are crowds who do not care to revolt; but there are no crowds who do not like some one else to do it for them; a fact which the safest oligarchies may be wise to learn.” –  CH XV111 The Republic of Peaceways

“…if a law is kept too quiet to be opposed, it may also be kept too quiet to be obeyed? It’s not so easy to hush it up from a big politician without running the risk of hushing it up from a common policeman” –  CH XXII The Chemistry of Mr Crooke

And in the same Chapter…as the riots start… “Through the broken windows came the confused roar of that confused tongue…the cry deaf kings have heard at last; the terrible voice of mankind”.

Secondly I have been having some discussions on the possibilities of using ricin as a biological / chemical weapon for mass attack on people. A pharmacist points out that such large molecules may possibly be encouraged to enter the human blood stream by using a suppository, as is widely used in French based medicine, often found in Arab countries with a history of French interests such as Syria or the larger Mahgreb, Algeria, Morocco and Tunisia (where, many years ago, when on holiday my young daughter was prescribed a eucalyptus suppository for a sore throat when on holiday). The theory is that the rectum is extremely well supplied with blood vessels and thus providing a quicker route for drugs into the blood stream without having to be exposed to the harsh environment of the highly acid stomach.

My pharmacist friend however suggested that the practical problems of mass use of suppositories was unlikely even if the potential victims were induced by crazed Kalashnikov-wielding urban terrorists. I am making enquiries on what research has been done to provide insulin for diabetics by this route. Evidently if successful it would be available.

Meanwhile I have got some exciting and interesting ideas to pass on. Principally because it is now the pigeon season and our Village Pigeon Racing Club now meets regularly twice a week. Naturally being on the fringes of a town (Rochdale) with one third of the population being Muslim (Census information) most people are aware of the Prime Minister’s regularly expressed concerns about Islamic fundamentalists and the spread of Pakistani atomic weapons knowledge. Therefore we actively discuss what President Bush and Tony Blair describe as the War on Terror.

Whilst we may not appear to be too well equipped to discuss these topics we have members who have visited North Korea, one member’s son (ex FFL) is in Baghdad as a mercenary bodyguard for American interests so we get daily updates from the heart of affairs in Iraq. We also have an expert on aerosols from the Old ICI plant in Blackley (North Manchester) making ink jet printer dyes and inks plus a wealth of ex-military experience on nuclear powered submarines, military signals, nuclear ordnance and contacts with people working in the Secret Services.

Here is a brief analysis of discussions to date (I will keep you up to date as our ideas develop)

1. (I think this is a brilliant idea) Anthony Eden called for Local Defence Volunteers, later called the Home Guard in 1940 and within 24 hours half a million men had volunteered at Police stations throughout the country. Why not take a leaf out of President Bush’s book and form – THE HOMELAND GUARD.

2. If you saw President Bush’s live TV Press Conference last week, you may have noted that immediately before he concluded his answers and strode off he upended his right thumb from his motionless fist on the desk. Some people said this was a “secret” sign, but it struck us that this embodied everything we were fighting for in ending terrorism. “Thumbs up” for the forces of civilisation and “Thumbs down” for the terrorists. Of course when the Roman Emperor put his thumb down it was the Christians who were slaughtered, but Mohammed hadn’t arrived and invented Islam.

3. One of our member’s daughters is a graphic artist and she is going to have a go at designing a lapel badge. Something small and discreet. Enough to let any terrorist in our midst know that the “watchers” are out there. As Mao said, they swim like fishes.

4. Think like a terrorist ! Read everything you can about terrorism. Become a sort of anti-terrorist cell – but then Barbara Amiel the leading philosopher writing in today’s Daily Telegraph prefers “counter terrorism”. Some suggested that you change your Departmental name – not that you should start sending up Apache gun ships with heat seeking laser guided missiles to rain fiery death on the revolting Muslim masses, but such a radical name change suggests a more “pro-active” role. That’s what the job advertisements in the Daily Telegraph are always asking for. Re-branding they call it in the City, and pay £Mns for it. Remember Consignia ?

5. Following on from this we decided that terrorists are wasting their time attacking communications and transport. They are self-healing. Blow up a bridge and a way round is soon found. Look at Madrid, the trains were running next day. Even the recent fires in the Telcoms tunnels under Manchester were repaired in days.

6. Someone suggest you could keep a track of cars with Muslim signs in the windscreen, prayers etc., as well as registration numbers. Personally I think this is crazy idea but I pass it on. You could also try it out, say on those people who have stylistic fishes stuck on their boot lids, Christian fundamentalists to represent the Christian prophet Christ as ” A fisher of men” Personally I think this is a crazy idea but I pass it on, if the public are to remain vigilant and helpful we have to accept that it may just mean a pooling of ignorance rather than a sharing of wisdom.

7. Energy. What a nation lives on. Not just destroying sub-stations. Long term, that’s what we need. Barnes Wallis showed to the pre-war government the reliance of Germany on hydro power and how smashing it could destroy the German re-arming and war effort. As usual nobody listened until too late – they thought that he just wanted the Germans to run out of water and thirst to death probably. (Coincidentally RWE (Rhine Westphalia Electric) are advertising in the Financial Times (FT) today – and it was their dams we were trying to bomb). RWE now own 1/3rd of our electricity power generation! What isn’t owned by the other giant German energy company Eon is owned by the French State Electricity Company, Electricite de France (EDF) or the Scots.

That is why we should look very carefully at the people set on destroying our national plans for electricity power generation. Locally there has been a movement masterminded by two local Conservative Councillors and a lady who is standing in the Local Authority Elections for the Conservatives who have successfully opposed a planned Wind Farm in Norden. (Appearing even on a TV program fronted by Amanda Platell, the ex Conservative Party PR spin doctor)

When asked where the future electrical power comes from, they (as did Pontius Pilate) shrug their shoulders and have no answers – in fact they don’t even understand the question – nor do they want to wait around for any answers. Today they stop the Government approved sustainable energy program, next… who knows…they could be bombing nuclear power stations.

Anyway, Stephen Timms (DTI Minister for Energy) in a letter to me assures me that the Government have not ruled out installing nuclear power stations. So at least they are ready.

8. Some people have expressed the view that the message about anti-terrorism (or counter-terrorism) gets confused and therefore the impact is diluted. For example the posters on the Underground show a train with 3 people in the compartment.

It’s been pointed out that you rarely see such an empty carriage (except) if you are on the last train to Cockfosters – when, let’s face it, most passengers are out of their skulls and wouldn’t notice if you got on board with a nuclear missile. Also anybody still awake would see any bags, it’s surely at rush hour on the Circle Line when it’s difficult to keep track of your own bags, never mind someone else’s. Of course if you are on the line that goes on to Heathrow…’nuff said.

Some people have said that it’s money wasted.

9. Which brings me round to money. If we are to aid the forces of the State is there any money available? Just for some stationery, stamps the odd phone call. As you can see, already so far we have come up with some very good ideas and it’s only a small investment by the State.

10. Funds are tight I know, but if we are to defeat the War on Terror we need to be properly equipped. OK so the State can pay with honours and medals, but I would rather get a bit of money to help out now than collect a George Cross in a wheelchair.

Edward can be contacted at:

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